Mum: Get up, it’s 4pm.
Me: No, I have nothing to live for.
Mum: Fair enough.
Ordered pizza with a friend and the request “draw something terrible on the box” was still there from the last time she ordered pizza.
A tent for ants?!
There will be lots of fun people there, and you’ll be there too. Fun people and also you.
—My friend inviting me to his party. (via creepylate)
1. Great teeth
2. Will compliment you a lot
3. Knows the words to all the songs from the South Park movie
4. Left boob
5. Right boob
Hayley: I hate people.
Me: Do you hate me?
Hayley: No but you’re not normal so…